The New Year use to be the old year

 

So now begins a new year. No. Actually the first began the New Year. But I had slept through it. And the second and third. And no. I wasn’t hung over like most of the rest of the world, I had just eaten myself into a sweaty sleep induced coma the world has never seen.

You see, when I get upset I eat. I inhale literally everything insight like that little pink puff thing from that game we use to all play on the Nintendo Cube? It was pink. The inhaler was pink. The actual console was purple. And square. But the little puff thing was pink. And round….

Uuuhh… Anyways. I was doing some research and enjoying a nice glass of Brandy, the liquor not the pop singer, when I stumbled upon some videos. You may know them as “Ask a Mechanic” but since I don’t wanna call anyone out and name names, I’ll just refer to them as Arts Cyclery.

I usually try to avoid watching these types of videos while drinking due to the way they make the alcohol react to my internals. When my brain receives inaccurate and false information in large doses, my body absorbs the alcohol at a high rate of speed which then turns me into a know it all arrogant pompous douche bag.

I’m all about teaching people things and having people try things on their own, experimenting and breaking things, it’s how I make my money, but I think it needs to be done with class, swagger with just a bit of accurate info sprinkled in for taste. There are kids on the internet, and a kids mind in its developmental stage is not something to be screwing around with. We can’t just be filling their head with false hopes and ideas on how one should be greasing and torqueing stem and saddle post bolts.

It’s just blasphemy!

 

And this is how I ended up in my coma. I gotten myself so worked up on these videos that I went out and bought a feast of frozen food in which my lady and I would devour. She was obviously the stronger of us, physically and emotionally, eating me into the ground. And by ground I mean hospital.

The lesson to be learned here you ask? Don’t try to out eat a woman hockey player with a crappy Canadian accent. Happy New Years and don’t forget that January is half off labor month. So get your over weight bike into us for service.

Jamers!